Sunday, October 12, 2014

Hurtsville Critter Spotlight vol. 1 - The Hurtsvillian Stealth Bear!

The Glorious Nation of Hurtsville is home to a variety of indigenous creatures, some unique, and some twisted, mutant kinfolk to creatures in the outside lands. In this series, we'll be giving you puny, worthless outsiders a glimpse into Hurtsville's preternatural ecosystem, with each installment spotlighting one of our many unusual and bloodthirsty organisms. Please note that all living things in Hurtsville are carnivorous, including the plants.

Today we take a look at... the Hurtsvillian Stealth Bear (Ursus Maleficarum)!


Visually similar to its more common and less mystical brethren, the Hurtsvillian Stealth Bear is similar in appearance to an over-sized American Black Bear, but with a distinctive purple bandanna tied around its head, Ninja Turtle-style, and the occasional bandolier of edged throwing weapons. Typically weighing between 500 and 700 pounds and averaging between 35 and 50 inches at shoulder height, the Hurtsvillian Stealth Bear is surprisingly agile for such a sizable creature. Atypical of other related species, the Hurtsvillian Stealth Bear walks bipedally, and has been known to ride unicycles unironically.

Sightings rarely leave survivors, but some recovered security footage has been pieced together showing a crack squadron of Hurtsvillian Stealth Bears executing a series of brutal maul-and-grab-and-then-maul-again robberies throughout the countryside and even within Hurtsville city limits. Unlike their cousins, Hurtsvillian Stealth Bears are primarily urban-dwelling predators, operating out of an unknown number of hidden locations which are presumably well-stocked with salmon. They are reported to excel at hiding behind shrubs, telephone poles, and other tall, narrow objects generally not suited for such purposes. 

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